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The other night I was (lightheartedly) rambling on to my husband about how pointless it is to give advice to women when it comes to choosing a boyfriend/husband or having children. No matter how much you warn a woman, she's already got her mind made up and is going to do what she wants to.(smiles)
Thinking about child birth made me start thinking about such silliness. I had heard countless stories of the aches, pains and terror of giving birth. Strangely, I always looked forward to the experience. And, I did it anyway.
My first pregnancy ended up in an emergency c-section. Boy did I feel ripped off. I wanted to have the natural experience of "feeling the baby pass through my body as it entered the world". I had labored and dilated the whole way but was rushed away just as I had made it to 10 centimeters. My second pregnancy I got my wish; I felt it all, regrettably. Why didn't I believe all those women who told me how awful child birth can be? I didn't know what "pain" and "scared" meant until I experienced it myself.
Sometimes we make poor decisions because of curiosity or naivety, sometimes by hormones or emotions, sometimes by rebellion. I'm not meaning that having kids is bad, I'm just reflecting on the fact that I did it, even though I had been warned of how awful of an experience it can be.
With all my ramblings around this matter Steinar said, "It's not our job to tell people what to do, we're just supposed to help them live with their choices."
That put an end to my ramblings. What a wonderful response, what a gracious and kind man. I love him.
3 comments:
I'm getting a little bit sad to "hear" that the experience of childbirth was not a good one for you. Of course your body must cooperate. I am one of the lucky ones that had good experiences with giving birth to my girls.
But you're right about your husband. Everyone makes his one choices, which they must live with. And we can only support each other if necessary.
Hope to hear from you soon again.
Big hugs to all of you!
what a wise man indeed... I love that response :) teresa
So, Hiedi, knowing now all the pain and fear you experienced would you recommend to other women to have children? And if so, to do it "naturally" (without pain killer etc...?)
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